If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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