I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
