Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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