im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I looked at my own cervix.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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