just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
