if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Still dying that you shit outside
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
