i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
