Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize