my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
