I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
