come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
