the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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