We named our party play list daddy issues
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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