Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The feeling are messing with the penis
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
