i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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