belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
