i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
