Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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