What a fucking waste of an outfit
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize