I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
