I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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