Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
