butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
