Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
