Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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