I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
