spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize