Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
