My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize