You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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