So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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