Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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