told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
