I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I take back everything I said about communal showers
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
