Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
