i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
