Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
