Say something about gay babies.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
