No stitches, just platelets and will power
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
