This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
