just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
