Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
false alarm. still invincible.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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