IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
