Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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