Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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