Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
