Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
