I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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