Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
