Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
