I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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