What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize