yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
