does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
