Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize