Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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