Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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