I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
